The Gutierrez Gang

One of the things I’ve had to “get over” as a missionary is the fact that we are constantly in a state of transition and change.  And sometimes the change happens before anything has even happened, but we’ve already announced that it is going to happen.  Does that only make sense to me?

A few weeks ago, as we were trying to get the details nailed down for our big move to Costa Rica, and as our special apostilles for CR were starting to come in the mail one by one, we got a phone call from MTW.

While it was still our decision on where we planned to go, they wanted to tell us about another opportunity in Bogota, Colombia which they highly encouraged us to consider.  As we began talking, it became clear that the purpose of us taking a year before moving to Peru was not only for my language training, but also, and equally as important, for Nathaniel to learn how to be a part of and lead a team.  MTW has a newly established “apprenticeship” program to train young missionaries and pass down the knowledge that other older missionaries have gleaned from their 30+ years on the field.  Given that we are going to be team leaders in Huanta, this is especially important for Nathaniel to be well trained and gain a little more hands-on experience.

The language schools in Bogota are excellent and apparently where the German government sends their people to be trained in Spanish.  And, while this apprenticeship program could be implemented in Costa Rica, there is a more established one already in Bogota and the team there is really excited to have us join them for a year.  They are even helping us find a place to live and making sure the language schools are adequate.

So, after a lot of thought, prayer, and counsel, we decided to go to Bogota!  Yay!  We are really excited about being able to spend a year in such an interesting place and to be on a team of other missionaries (one of the families also has little kids!).  I’m a little nervous about moving to such a big city, especially one I have never been to, but I’m pretty sure knowing that it is just for a year will make any challenges that come up do-able.  I also think we are going to be spoiled by living there.  Being that it is a big city, we will be able to find most anything we need (so we are told), and have learned that the water there is drink-able, and the voltage is the same as the states (110 instead of 220).  That means I can plug my hairdryer straight in the wall and drink a glass of water from the sink – or have the kids take a bath with out worrying about hepatitis.  It’s the little things in life that make it so much easier.

The last few weeks were a bit stressful with Christmas (which was wonderful, by the way), and making these big decisions for next year, and figuring out the logistics of moving, and raising the rest of our support, and raising two small children, I felt like I was walking around all the time with wide eyes and a head ache.  But now that these decisions have been made, our support is almost in, and we have a decent plan for what to do with our things while we live in Colombia, I am starting to feel more and more calm and less and less paralyzed with anxiety.

Now the big tasks at hand are to get that money in, once and for all, gather our visas and figure out what we are going to bring on our next adventure.  I’m thinking clothes, toys, and a coffee machine.  Pretty much anything else can be made from Pinterest or we’ll just learn to do without.  As for everything else?  Well, by Peruvian importing laws, all things must be packed by a professional mover.  Darn Darn, guess I’ll have to sit around drinking sweet tea while someone else packs my things.  I’m pretty sure it won’t be that carefree of an adventure, but it does take a lot of pressure off of packing and making sure that everything is wrapped well enough to survive a boat trip in a 20 ft container.

We are getting so close, we can feel it!  We are so excited to just get on down to South America and begin this ministry that we’ve been working towards for the last 61/2 years!  And now, we will always be able to talk about the year we spent in Colombia.  Who knew that being a missionary was so full of adventure!?

Growing up, we always had a special pile of books that were stored away each year for Christmas and then brought out with the ornaments and other special Christmas-y things.  Among the stash was one of our favorite stories:

In this story, the poor Little Critter tries so hard to make Christmas special for his family, but he just keeps messing it up.  Like, the cover implies, he can’t get the presents wrapped because he gets too sticky from the tape, but he also can’t string the lights because he’s too tangled in them, the ornaments all drop and break when he pulls them out, and he accidentally eats all the cookies before he can give them away.  It basically sounds like what Christmas would be like if Jeremiah was in charge.

But this year I totally feel like Little Critter.

I tried stringing the lights outside, but a week later, half of them burned out.

I tried stringing the lights outside my in-law’s house.  But a day later, half of them burned out.

I tried having a pre-lit tree.  But a few weeks later, there are patches of burned out lights all over it.

Do you see a theme here?

But it doesn’t stop there.

I tried to buy presents at the mall, but I got too distracted and ended up buying something for myself. Also, I hate shopping at the mall.

So I ordered everything online.  But some things didn’t come out the way I thought they would.  Why do things always seem bigger and better on the internet?

I tried keeping the stockings stuffed, but I was too excited to show Nathaniel and Jeremiah what was in them.

I tried baking cinnamon ornaments, but they came out too thin and cracky.

I didn’t even try baking cookies because we all know where those would go.

I tried getting in the Christmas spirit, but I was just too distracted.  

I’m usually so into this season.  I decorate the tree as early as culturally acceptable, I blow our budget by excitedly purchasing that perfect gift for someone and wrap them in a way that would inspire even Martha Stewart.  I throw parties.  I bake, I decorate, I craft and craft and craft, I wear red and green together (okay, just on my feet), and I am the official Christmas music DJ in the house.  And every Christmas movie on tv must. be. watched. And I just feel giddy and excited the whole month of December.

We have a lot going on in our lives at the moment.  A pending move overseas, raising the rest of our support, and a giant to-do list to accomplish those things.  Did you know that each person applying for residency in another country has to first track down their birth certificate, and then get them with a special “apostille” printed on them – specifically for the country they are going to?  I’m told it is easier than leaving the country every 90 days, but I’m not entirely convinced.

Anyways, between vaccinations, researching moving companies, and the calling the state record’s department for FOUR different states, we’ve been busy busy.  For the first time, Christmas doesn’t feel like an entire season of merry making and joy, but more like something that is just going to happen, whether we are really ready for it or not.  Or whether our tree and outside lights are fully lit or not.

This is the first year in our marriage that we won’t be in Tacoma for Christmas.  Whether we drove 20 hours all in one day from San Diego, or flew across the country pregnant and with a small toddler, we’ve always been “home” on the 25th.  But this year is a special year with most of Nathaniel’s family being in town, and we decided to stay put for Christmas.  We are excited to be here with the Gutierrez’s.  Of course not traveling with two small children is a relief, but I am sad too.  There is nothing like celebrating with your own family and with the same traditions you’ve grown to love year after year.  And, my mom knows how to do Christmas.  Oh how she knows!

So, I’m a little disappointed in myself that this year, our first year home and with a kid who actually kind of gets this whole Christmas thing, and our last Christmas in America, I’m kind of being a bum about it.  That and the things I’ve tried to do are just not working out very well.  Our house looks pretty festive, and there are presents under our tree (thanks, Mom and Dad!), but in my heart, I’m just not entirely there.  I feel that way about a lot of things lately.  Like I have one foot in, and one foot….in South America.

But, and I say this VERY carefully because this is not meant to be judgy or preachy, this is one of the first Christmases where instead of being busy with making Christmas happen, I’m able to reflect more on why it happened. I’ve had just so little energy to really invest in the Christmas season, and I am learning that I can fail miserably at making Christmas what I think it should be, but regardless, there was still a tiny baby born many years ago who would grow up to save the world.  And that is something that no pending move, no burned out lights, and no homecoming can take away.

I have no idea what Christmas will look like next year.  Will we be in Costa Rica?  Will we be “home?”  Will we have just moved to Peru?  Will our half-burned out pre-lit tree be with us?  Will we have presents?  These seemingly small questions represent a pending future with a whole lot of unknowns.  Not knowing what is in our very near future has become our new normal.  But I’m learning that while it is uncomfortable, it is okay.  I’m pretty sure Mary had a lot of unknowns too.  And just when they thought they were going back “home,” they got sent to Egypt.  And that’s after having a baby in a barn.  But that didn’t take away from the joy of her son’s birth, so I’m not going to let my little tiny mis-fortunes and stress take it away from me either.

And so, this Christmas,  I sing it loudly and with joy in my heart: “Hallelujah, Christ was born!” Let the celebrations begin!

“Tell us about a time you resolved conflict well.”  ”Tell us about a time you didn’t resolve conflict well.”  ”Tell us about a time you really messed up cross-culturally.”  ”What is the hardest decision you’ve ever had to make….”

We spent the last two days answering questions like these and many more (some even more personal and more difficult to answer) as we were being assessed my MTW’s leadership department to become team leaders of a future Huanta team.

Back in the 60′s, Nathaniel’s grandparents were part of a wonderful team of missionaries in Huanta.  We are always hearing stories of all the work that was able to happen there because there was such a strong team.  Nathaniel’s mom has so many fond memories of growing up with the other M.K.’s, and story after story of the different team members.  But, when terrorism happened down there, the team had to leave and no one was able to return until Nathaniel’s family went down solo in the mid-90′s.

Now it’s almost time for us to be down there as missionaries, and we want to be there with a team!  We’ve been talking about recruiting other team-mates, but didn’t know how to go about that, so when Nathaniel inquired about it, he was soon put in an email conversation with several other senior staff members as they were scheduling the “Gutierrez Leadership Assessment,” a two day intensive interview at the MTW office.  Apparently assessing potential team leaders is a fairly new venture for MTW, so we were surprised but really honored that they were taking so much time on us (one staff member even flew in just for this), and were taking it so seriously.

We had to participate in several role play scenarios of different issues that may come up on the field or with other team members, we were interviewed by a psychologist, interviewed individually and together as a couple.  Nathaniel was even given several assignments beforehand to present to this group of 5 assessors.  By the end of the first day, I was so exhausted I was in bed by 9:30 (I’m usually a midnight or later kind of person), and we had no idea what the outcome was going to be.  Neither of us felt very confident about our first day of interviews.  But, by the second day, things seemed a little better, and when they called us into the room of five people to tell us the news, we were so humbled and excited when they said that pending approval from our one-up, we are going to be the new Team Leaders of Huanta Peru!  We couldn’t believe it.  The only concern they have is our lack of experience as missionaries, so they would like to see us be on the field for a while before other teammates come down, but that doesn’t mean we can’t start the process of recruiting now.  So, who wants to serve in Huanta??

The other thing is that they are no longer recommending, but now assigning us to go to language school in Costa Rica.  Actually, just me.  I need mucho helpo in my espanol.  (yes, I know it isn’t actually “helpo”), and while I do that, Nathaniel is going to be assigned to work with a ministry opportunity there (more details to come as they get worked out).  It will be the best of both worlds – I get to learn Spanish while Nathaniel gets to do ministry.  And it will be in Costa Rica, which you can’t really complain about.  And we are probably going to be there for a year.  They have a wonderful pre-school program for our kids which they call “Little Rays of Sunshine.”  How sweet is that!?  It kind of makes me want to cry thinking of my little rays of sunshine being so well taken care of by sweet ladies who will only speak to them in Spanish.

Now our wheels are turning on how to get all of these logistics worked out (it never ends, does it?).  The big thing is that we now know for sure that we’ll be entering language school, but when and how is still to be determined.  We have no clue what to do with our things, when we will be leaving  - the first session starts January 10,  and the next one doesn’t start until May 2, and we don’t want to wait that long.

So this was a really exciting week for us and we are really honored to be considered leadership material.  It is also exciting that we can start getting people to come down to Huanta.  And we are excited about Costa Rica.  I wish I knew how it was all going to turn out with all of the details, but then I guess I would be taking away from God the joy of surprising us with how perfectly he always works things out.  In the meantime, we are still gathering our little list of things to buy, contacting shipping companies, getting Gabriella’s passport, and all of our vaccinations. And doing a lot of praying.  There can never be enough praying.