Monthly Archives January 2009

I debated whether or not to turn around and look.  ”Please don’t be mine, please don’t be mine” went through my brain, and I have to admit that a huge sigh of relief and a sort of twitty smile spread across my face when I saw that it wasn’t MY 18 month old picking up deer poo in the petting corral of the Wild Animal Park and trying to feed it to the same deer that had just deposited it.   

I was really nervous about taking the kids to the Wild Animal Park yesterday all by myself.  Not only was I worried that we’d have a repeat of this, but I was also not sure how these kids would do, especially since I really don’t know them or their personalities yet.  

But, can I just brag for a minute?  These kids were fantastic...

That was Harry’s prayer the other night before bed.  He’s really taken to the idea of Jesus and God, and especially the fact that Jesus loves him.  He has a hard time falling asleep at night, I think mostly because he has never had his own room before.  We would love to have the siblings bunk together in the same room, but, oh, legalities.  How we love them.  Anyways, so N has been spending a lot of time teaching Harry about Jesus and how He protects us, especially at night.  As he was describing Jesus’ great love for us, and how he even loves Harry, Nathaniel watched Harry’s eyes get big and the expression on his face turn from scared to excited.  

Then the other night when he was talking on the phone to his dad, his dad asked Harry how he was.  His response was, “Good...

A lot of people fear change, but when it comes down to it, they realize its really not that bad.  As I learn more about myself, I realize that I function exactly the opposite way.  I love the idea of change.  I crave it.  Its not so much discontentment, but more the excitement of something new, something fresh, a way to start over.  But the minute that change occurs, I freak out.  I feel sick to my stomach.  I regret.  The only way to describe it is that deep ache that homesickness brings.  Homesick for my old life. 

Today our lives changed again.  And if you read my previous post, you may be surprised at my sentiments now, at 10pm, after an exhausting day.  See yesterday the idea of change sounded so exciting, and today I am totally freaked out...